Katie Driscoll. For years, the idea of my body stopped at just that: an idea. It was a distant, separate thing I had no control over, something for the whims of others or occasional somatic exercises in fun, a sentient thing which got me from A to B but in which I took no pride or pleasure. Then the pandemic came, the invisible contagious disease that was terrifying and brutal and not discriminatory at all. Back in the pre-COVID times, I racked up one-night stands and dalliances with a feverish energy, wanting to notch up experience after experience, hungry for different types of men and windows into other worlds. It had been an escape from having to face myself. Alone at night, surrounded by relics from my childhood, I was forced to reflect on my dating history and found that looking back, each date or night with someone had felt like an opportunity to perform, to be the person I wanted to be: cocky, self-assured, not depressed or anxious, only charming and silly and fun. Inevitably, the performative aspect bled into the sex. It always felt like there was a block between my body and the other.
By first blush, casual dating can appear like an effortless way to build new connections and ease loneliness devoid of having to get too attached. Can you repeat that? if you take a short caper together? Serious relationships usually involve:. A lot of people commit to one partner absolutely or monogamously once things get acute.
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